Called to Friendship

Recently, I was talking with someone – not someone here at the parish, but a priest in a different state – and it became clear to me that he and I had two different ideas about our relationship. I thought of us as professional acquaintances, perhaps colleagues, but he clearly thought of us as something closer to friends. As this realization occurred to me, at first I was surprised, and then after a moment, I felt a little guilty. He valued our relationship in a way that I didn’t, in a way that I had not thought about before. And I thought: what does this mean, then, going forward? Is friendship something I want?

In today’s Gospel, Jesus tells the disciples that he considers them to be his friends. I wonder if some of them would have been a bit taken aback by this. Maybe they viewed him as their Master, their teacher, their leader. They had followed him because he had something they wanted: wisdom, purpose, knowledge of God and eternal life. But friendship was something different; friendship entails an affinity, a likeness, a sharing of viewpoint and values – a sharing of loves. Was that something they wanted? Were they ready for that?

 

Duccio di Buoninsegna, "Christ Taking Leave of the Apostles," Maestà Altarpiece (1311)

And what about us? If we’re honest, maybe the idea of being friends with Jesus makes us a bit uncomfortable. Most of us probably tend to think of our relationship with the Lord in the transactional way that the disciples did. We want his wisdom, his guidance, his blessing; we are glad to follow him and keep his commandments, if that means he will give us what we want. But to be friends with Jesus means something more. It means there must be a likeness between him and us, a willingness to being changed so that his values becomes our values, his loves become our loves. Jesus says that we are his friends when we do as he does, when we love as he has loved us – love that lays down its life, love exemplified on the Cross.

Are we ready for that? Is friendship with the Lord something we want? Because that is what he wants – it’s what he calls us to and calls us to be. Maybe we don’t always realize that – maybe we are surprised at times to find that he values his relationship with us even more than we might. In the end, all the things we want from life, even the good things we want from God – his wisdom and guidance and blessing – they are only valuable if they also lead us to friendship with Christ, because only the friends of Christ – those who know him, and love him, and love as he loves – will be brought with him through death into eternal life. Let’s make that our goal, then, each day, asking the Lord to help us here and now to love as he loved, so that one day we may be where he is.